You Are Not Alone – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

There are so many uplifting and inspiring stories of hope from people who have used Recovery International's self-help tools and support groups to change their lives. These stories inspire and show that there are answers to and ways of changing your quality of life for the better.

Overcoming the Effects of PTSD
My dad did not hate me, but he was an alcoholic.  He put the fear of God in me when I was four or five years old.  My fearful response stayed with me until I was 44 years old and my dad still had the power to terrify me with just a word of rebuke – so bad that I literally had to use the bathroom.  I had other traumas in my life, of course, like the time my Mom threw a knife at me, but it missed and stuck in the vinyl covered kitchen chair in front of my belly.  She yelled she would never forgive me for ruining her chair.  Being  abused by my uncle at 7 years of age confirmed for me that the world was not a safe place, so I took in stride quite a few other disturbances like falling out of trees, being deliberately struck by a car, getting electrocuted at the top of the ladder at the top of the stairs, and jumping off a moving train.  The background of fear was constant.

Insomnia was a constant plague.  After college I learned that a glass of wine would calm me down and help me sleep.  Before long, though, one glass became two and then the glasses started to grow.  Vodka was even more effective, and cheaper, too, so my alcoholism progressed to the point where I could put away a 1.75liter (half-gallon) of vodka in a day.  I could get through anything I had to during the day, as long as I had that blessed oblivion to look forward to in the evening. I am one of the lucky ones – I sobered up before I died.  They say in AA “You can sober up a drunken horse thief, but you still got a horse thief.”  I made some progress with the 12 steps, but the undercurrent of fear remained.

I was almost 50 when a friend took me to a Recovery meeting.  There I learned the tools that helped me put aside my fears.  This is what I searched for all those years – in a psych degree in college, counseling courses in grad school, in finding relief at the bottom of a bottle, and even church could not break through the walls of denial and self-defense I had built around my heart.  What I learned in RI was a system of tools and techniques that help me manage my reaction to all the things that used to cause me fear.  I am finally at peace with myself!  A lifelong insomniac, now I sleep like a baby for as long as I like.  My driving has improved as I am not so anxious that I have to get ahead of the guy in front of me, so I slow down, and even enjoy the ride!  My relationships are better as I don't need to win every argument to prove myself.  (I may not be much, but I'm all I think about!)  Most of all, my confidence level has rocketed out of the “worm” mentality - I’m good enough!

I want everyone I know to hear about this system – because everybody knows somebody who could benefit from it! – John Reimers