Little Things Add Up to "Recovery"

By Christina Kelly

Peninsula Daily News

Support: Group helps those with anger, nervousness and fears get on with life.

PORT ANGELES – Thirty-six years ago, the slightest problem sent Gerry Smith into fits of anger, nervousness, panic attacks and self-blame.

The more the Detroit native became angry at trivial things in his life, the more he was angry and ashamed of himself. It became a vicious cycle that destroyed his marriage and left him unable to hold a job for any period of time.

"I was wallowing in self-blame, and having physical symptoms that stemmed from my anger and anxiety," Smith said. "I had no sense of responsibility. I was constantly tense, even about the most minute things.

In a serendipitous moment, Smith found a pamphlet at the back of his church describing a support group called Recovery, Inc. The pamphlets said the support group has a system of techniques for controlling temperamental behavior and changing attitudes about fears, anger and nervous symptoms.

Although the group doesn't work magic, Smith said it was magic for him. Shortly after attending a few weekly meetings, Smith went to work every day for a week and was on time. It was a rare moment for him.

Smith recently retired from a Michigan linen company after 34 years, moved to Port Angeles to be near his grandchildren, and is forming the first Recovery group on the North Olympic Peninsula. The soft-spoken Smith recently met with Don Zanon, director of Peninsula Community Mental Health Center about the program. Zanon was enthusiastic about the support group, and offered the Center as a place to hold the meetings.

"I'm very supportive of this," Zanon said. "We encouraged the development of support groups, and this one seems very consumer oriented to me.

"A few years ago, groups were started to help parents grieve the loss of a child. There are support groups for people who have survived cancer.

"Now, it's beginning to happen in the psychiatric field and we support that fully." Recovery, Inc. is not a 12-step program. Smith said there is no talk of religion or politics. The group does not offer medical advice or speculate on reasons why a person developed uncomfortable behaviors that leave them uptight or irritable.

"We don't talk about major events, such as death or loss of a child, " Smith explained. "We talk about the everyday, unimportant events, the trivialities, that trigger anger or other behaviors." The program was formed in 1937 to help support former mental patients and provide a place for them to discuss everyday problems. It has evolved over the years to include people who may not suffer from mental illness, but have anger management problems, anxiety and panic attacks.

What happens, said Smith, is that every day irritations get blown out of proportion for some people, particularly when the behavior has been building for some time. The temper sustains tenseness, which causes physiological problems, such as heart palpitations, stomachaches and headaches.

Recovery has a saying, "It's distressing, but not dangerous."

Smith said there is no right or wrong in the everyday, unimportant events, but people have a tendency to want to blame someone.

"Wrong is a dirty word in Recovery," Smith said. "If we are upset, well, it's average to be upset. We don't have to be perfect. We don't say, 'you're wrong.' We don't get into the causes of why you behave the way you do."

What the group will do is talk about situations after they have occurred, the people, places and the things that were said. They will then examine the symptoms, the tenseness, and how the person responded.

The next step is called "spotting," which is to help people see the behavior or problem and use Recovery philosophy and techniques to put the incident in its place. During the meetings, participants are taught a number of Recovery concepts so they learn to spot or recognize in themselves negative and unproductive thoughts and behavior.

The last step is to ask how the participant might have handled the situation before they learned the Recovery techniques.

The meetings emphasize that people are displaying symptoms of their illness or the rut they've dug themselves into and can't get out, Smith said. They need to learn that symptoms cannot hurt them, but the symptoms must not control their lives.

"We learn to develop the will to bear discomfort," Smith said. "Rather than letting the discomfort take over our lives, we learn that it won't kill or harm us. It's like training your will."

Posteed with permission from Peninsula Daily News and the author.

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