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clifford
447 Posts |
 Posted - 08/03/2012 : 15:42:39
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The event happened yesterday between 3:55 and 4:30, I had scheduled an appointment with a pastor who said that he could meet with me at 4:15 pm, which would be after I got off work. He told me to look for his van, and If I saw it in the parking lot near his office, It would mean that he was in, I walked by the church around 3:55 and didn't see his van and continued to walk to a nearby mall, and got back to the church around 4:17, the van still wasn't there, and I began to work myself up.
Symptoms: Lowered feelings, mental confusion, tenseness and racing thoughts: Maybe he came back and left between the time I walked to the mall and got back, Maybe he doesn't think I am worth meeting with. I had angry temper towards towards the Pastor for not showing up and Judgement against self for not having just waited at the church.
Further spotting: I realized I could excuse the Pastor, that something might have come up between the time we planned to meet and when I got to the church. I decided planned and acted to wait till 4:30 in case he was running a little late, I took the secure thought that if he had got there between the time I walked by the church and returned he would have waited a few minutes for me to show up. I spotted to know is to know I don't know why he missed the appointment, that it probably had nothing to do with insincerity on his part.
I endorse for taking secure thoughts, excusing rather than accusing; deciding, planning and acting, dropping my firery imagination,and realizing that to know is to know I don't know what happened.
Before recovery, I would have blamed myself for some one missing an appointment with me, no matter how unrealistic that might have been, and would have generated a lot of fearful temper in the process. |
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thursday49
916 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2012 : 16:21:06
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The writer changed his thoughts from insecure to secure thoughts.
He became flexible in his approach to seeing the pastor at a certain time.
Flexibility attracts; rigidity repels.
One endorsement from self is worth a thousand from outer environment. |
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SandyLane
251 Posts |
Posted - 08/04/2012 : 18:39:13
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Clifford was startled.
He was entitled to his initial response, it's the after effects of working down our tempers that we focus on in Recovery.
Calm begets calm and temper begets temper.
Temper maintains and intensifies symptoms.
Clifford chose to be objective about the event and objectivity wipes out emotionalism.
He took the total view rather than the partial view of the event.
He replaced his insecure thoughts with secure thoughts.
He chose to be self-led rather than symptom-led.
We don't wait to get well in order to do things, we do things in order to get well.
His symptoms were distressing but not dangerous.
This was a harmless outpouring of a nervous imbalance.
Feelings will rise and fall and run their course if we don't attach danger to them.
Clifford has much to endorse for in this example.
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anne s.
250 Posts |
Posted - 08/05/2012 : 14:05:37
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Clifford can endorse for making a business and not a game of his mental health. Bear discomfort in order to gain comfort. He does not know why the Pastor didn't show up. It is possible something came up to detain him.
Self-appointed expectations lead to self-induced frustrations. Hurt feelings are just feelings not shared by others. We can lower our standards for outer environment and our performance will rise. Everyday life is full of irritations, frustrations, and disappointments. |
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Tinkerbell18
236 Posts |
Posted - 08/11/2012 : 21:34:41
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| The Pastor has a special title, but he is an average person. He can excuse the Pastor for the sake of his mental health. Expectations and disappointments. He can lower his standards for the Pastor, who is outer environment to him. |
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Peacejoy
54 Posts |
Posted - 08/13/2012 : 07:38:09
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Clifford can endorse for the progress he has made with his mental health. He is not waiting to do things in order to get well. He has a strong determined will and sees that this event was a triviality in regards to his mental health. Good average spotting when he said " to spot is to spot we don't know". Clifford is also letting the old pastime of blaming himself go. He is a self led worthy person who is trusting his basic functions.
Clifford acted in a cultured and dignified manner. Expectations and disappointments. People do things that annoy us not to annoy us. Total vpoint the Pastor did not do this to annoy Clifford - mixups and/or people not showing up for appointments or get-togethers is average. People are average. Cliffort decided to drop judgment and focused on his mental health.
Great average example. Peacejoy
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missed appointment
