my neighbor brought me some fresh red potatoes and onions. i decided to make potato salad and share it with him. i only had a few stalks of celery, and little mayo, so i made less than i'd expected to make. i saw him in the yard and took him a carton -- about a pint. he said he loved potato salad. then he looked at the carton. immediately i interpreted that look as critical of the amount i gave him.
racing thoughts: he thinks i'm stingy. he knows he gave me lots more potatoes than that. i should explain... feelings of embarrassment. regret that i didn't give him all or most of it.
spots: nervous people indulge in self torture and self sabotage. i know that i don't know what that look meant and it could have been just looking at the salad in the container! humor is my best friend. sort of funny how relentless is my 'self torture' that i do a neighborly thing and then turn it into something to be ashamed about. i'm average. good enough. i endorse for making a smaller amount, instead of abandoning the idea. i endorse for being a 'group minded' neighbor. i endorse for resisting the urge to 'explain' why it was only a pint.
before recovery i would have turned this into a bigger deal, explaining and embarrassing both of us. i might have abandoned the project when i saw i couldn't make a lot. i would not have been able to smile at my passion for self torture because i would not have known that is what it was. i might have resented my neighbor for "making" me feel bad.
I spot for Jean: • An excess sense of duty and responsibility • A threat to social reputation • Fearful temper in the nuance of inadequacy • Feelings are not facts • To laugh at a thing is to refuse to take it seriously • Jean was group minded for her offer • It is average for one person to only order one small carton of potato salad when they shop so it won’t spoil. • Jean can plan decide and act to make more potato if she chooses. Jean was very group minded to post this triviality because it demonstrates how easily we can get worked up over what we think about other opinions and approvals. I love how Jean took the seriousness out of this with humor. Jean could have been more group minded by including her recipe for her potato salad…LOL…LOL! Jean had many reason to self endorse and she did! Now that the best recipe for getting and staying well! Way to go!
Jean couldn't change the situation so she changed her attitude towards it. She is making a business out of her mental health, it is not a game. What she knows is that she doesn't know what the neighbor was thinking. Feelings aren't facts. She changed her insecure thoughts to secure thoughts. This was a harmless outpouring of a nervous imbalance. Feelings will rise and fall and run their course if we don't attach danger to them. Her symptoms were distressing but not dangerous. Jean used humor and humor is our best friend. She chose not to take her own dear self too seriously.
Jean can endorse herself for making the potato salad and sharing it with her neighbor. Dr. Low tells us, "A sence of humor is borne out of indifference to irritations no matter how severe." Self-endorse regardless of outcome and Jean did endorse herself.
We can lower our standards for outer environment and our performance will rise. Everyday life is full of irritations, frustrations, and disappointments. She is an average nervous patient, fine and acceptable the way she is.