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Kathleen
1372 Posts |
 Posted - 01/28/2010 : 13:06:36
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I thought this might be helpful to all of us apprentices with doubt about mutual aid issues.
Hi ____ I was thinking that I hope I haven't burned you out!! One of my
(many) therapists told me that I burn people out in relationships by relying too much on them. I guess in Recovery terms that means I want them to do for me what I can do for myself.
_____, you haven’t burned me out so don't worry! I felt the say way in the beginning. I use to belong to a 12 step program where I had a sponsor. I would call my sponsor everyday and I thought I couldn't get through a day without their help either telling me what to do or crying on their shoulder. That went on for 15 years. After my last hospitalization, after 24 sessions of shock treatment, somehow I had found myself at Recovery. As you know they we don’t have sponsors in Recovery. I was afraid to call anyone for a 5 minute phone call, yet I was terrified I couldn't get through the day without talking to someone. I forced myself to start making 5 minute phone calls. I spoke to my leader, and 2 others that I felt were well seasoned members. I felt that if I spread the phone calls out to other members I wouldn't feel like I was a burden to one. Like you I felt I would burn people out. The difference was the people I chose were strict to the Recovery method of training (thank goodness). A 5 minute phone call was just that. It was like a shock to me because I wanted to go on in detail about my feelings, symptoms and the multitude of problems I was dealing with at the time. They would only allow me to give one situation, my symptoms, what spottings I used to help myself, the endorsements I gave myself and how I would have handled myself before my Recovery training. In the beginning I would get off the phone with the idea of the "BUTS" I thought as I use to do, that they didn't give me the chance to really tell my story. Then it clicked! Recovery wants us to be objective about our situations, objective about our symptoms, and objective about what tools WE used to HELP OURSELVES. Most IMPORTANT to see the PROGRESS WE were making before Recovery!!!!
I started to see that all situations were really common to everyday life, the difference between a triviality and a real emergency, that all symptoms were average to a nervous patient, and most importantly that my symptoms and situations were phasic and not basis! I had been just seeing them as isolated events that were fearful and dangerous. I WAS MAKING EVERYTHING AN EMERGENCY! I was in the habit of seeing each one as being worse than the other, yet all along they were really just the same. Recovery was telling me that I had the choice of either to work them up or work them down. So I started to work them down by first using objectivity, I was in the habit of being in the state of Romato Intellectualizing everything, I realized that I had to get out of the habit of using Temperamental Lingo in my thoughts and my speech. A habit I still work on daily. Then I had to use my Recovery tools (MY Spottings & USING MY MUSCLE) to help me get focused on the real work I needed to do to get myself on track to my SUPREME GOAL of GOOD MENTAL HEALTH.
Finally the bonus of seeing that I could change my way of thinking and responding to any situation, ENDORSE myself (which is so vital) finally seeing the progress I was making before Recovery!
I am still an AVERAGE apprentice, still learning, still dealing with symptoms, setbacks, still dealing with the everyday life’s events of FRUSTRATIONS and TEMPERS, still PRACTICING DR. LOW'S METHOD of RECOVERY TRAINING. So you see we do get better with continued PRACTICE and PATIENCE!
As Dr. Low stated "THEIR ARE NO HOPELES CASES".
So again my answer to you is no, you did not burn me out. That will not happen as long as keep to working my own Recovery Training, and making my own mental health MY SUPREME GOAL!
Thank you for this time of mutial aid.
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kasey
124 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2010 : 06:50:48
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This topic is very helpful to me. I was always worried (and often still do! )that if I don't do the right thing and then get assurance from the outer environment I won't make it through the day. This kept me calling and bugging other people when I didn't use the Recovery method. Now when I have an obssessive thought or a difficult situation I know that I can get through it with objective help. It is not help that coddles me. It is really important to see the progress we were making before Recovery. I had a tough week last week at work. I was very discouraged (temperatmental lingo!)but made it through with 5 minute phone calls, reading Dr. Low's books and the online forums. On Saturday, I thought; "I will lie on the couch covered up by my blankets all day." Instead of doing that I got up, went to the deli and got my husband his favorite sandwich to take to work and put half a tank of gas into his car. I would never be that group minded before Recovery. I would feel sorry for myself all day long, and think "what are other people going to do for me?". Thanks Kathleen for this topic! |
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thursday49
925 Posts |
Posted - 02/18/2010 : 17:08:45
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I heard a spot online the other day.
Come to your own rescue. It's somewhere in the book or we wouldn't know of it.
It's quite helpful to me when I work myself up and expect some other soul will 'rescue' me.
I worked myself up; I can work myself down and function with symptoms. |
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