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|T O P I C R E V I E W
||Posted - 03/12/2012 : 16:09:05
Situation: I was driving to the UPS Store to mail some toner cartridge for my son's school. I am not very familiar with the area. I was in the wrong lane, so I put on my turn signal and thought the person was letting me in. I pull into the parking lot of the UPS Store and get out of my vehicle and this woman rolls down her window and starts screaming at me and dropping the F bomb that I cut her off and that her baby was in the car. As I went in the store she took down my license plate and when I came out she left a message in my door that stated, "So glad my dad is a cop! You will be hearing from us. Citizens arrest still exists! This is when I began to work myself up.
Step 2 - I had fearful temper because this woman was acting crazy. I had a bit of angry temper that she was freaking out. I had second thoughts, did I really cut her off? Lowered feelings. Feeling upset that her dad might look up my address and harass me and my family.
Step 3 - Experienced the startle of the dog. Expectations and disappointments that this woman would be reasonable. People can be rude, crude and indifferent, often without intent. Anticipation is often worse than realization.
Step 4 - I am still shaken up by the situation, but I controlled my speech muscles and didn't respond to her foul language. In prior days I would have gone off on her and we would have probably had a shouting match.
Any additional spotting would be appreciated.
|7 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First)
||Posted - 03/17/2012 : 22:47:10
Mary stated that she is still shaken up which would be average after a startle and then a threat. Feelings will rise and fall and run their course no matter how much we wish they would stop. The event is distressing for sure but not dangerous. Mary acted with culture and a good deal of self control.
• In everyday life there is enough subtlety for a mountain of misunderstandings.
• It is average to questions ourselves in these types of situations.
• We can excuse rather than accuse outer environment for have their original response, especially if they have had no Recovery training.
• Feelings are not facts.
• Comfort is a want but not a need.
Mary makes her Recovery her business, not a game!
||Posted - 03/17/2012 : 16:02:32
Mary was entitled to her original response. Our natural responses may be immune to changing, but they are amenable to spotting.
Calm begets calm, and temper begets temper. Its average to be stimulated by the outer environments temper. Angry temper at the woman, and fearful temper in the nuances of self-blame and self-pity. When we blame ourselves, the first casulty is our self respect.
Mary was self-led rather than symptom-led. She bore the discomfort. She stopped taking her own dear self so seriously. Its hard to be comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. Her sense of being exceptional was balanced by her knowledge of being average.
We endorse for the effort and not the result. Endorse.
||Posted - 03/15/2012 : 15:13:13
Mary should endorse herself for how she handled the situation. Expect frustration every five minutes and you won't be disappointed. Self-endorse regardless of outcome. Also, self-endorse for controlling speech muscles.
Outer environment gets to our inner environment through the bridge of temper. Bear the discomfort and comfort will come. It is not how you feel, it is how you function. People do things that annoy us, not necessarily to annoy us. She is treating her mental health as a business, not as a game.
||Posted - 03/13/2012 : 11:59:11
Mary sent command to the muscles & choose to stay silent.
She knew this had a bearing on her mental health
When we function in symptoms we make our greatest gain
We don't look regretfully into the past nor fearfully into the future.
Mary should be endorsing herself for how she handled this situation.
An endorsing person is a secure person.
||Posted - 03/12/2012 : 18:38:11
Great example of self-control.
An act of self-control leads to a sense of self respect.
We can't change the outer environment, we can only hope to influence it.
It's average to be startled by this kind of event.
Calm begets calm and temper begets temper.
I spot imagination on fire about future harrassment.
It's hard to feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation.
Mary chose peace over power. She didn't go for the symbolic victory.
She is making a business out of her mental health, it is not a game.
Mary chose to keep the outer environment in the outer environment.
Temper is the bridge between the inner environment and the outer environment. When we drop our tempers than the outer environment can no longer affect our inner environment.
She acted in a calm and cultured manner by working her tempers down.
Mary has much to endorse herself for in this example.
||Posted - 03/12/2012 : 18:02:23
Driving is Outer environment.
Outer environment can only affect Inner environment across bridge of Temper.
endorse for controlling speech muscles.
We're not responsible for the initial working up but we are for working it down, as example-giver did.
||Posted - 03/12/2012 : 16:32:50
Another driver's mental state is outer environment.
The writer chose to work her situation down rather than working it up.
She didn't give vent to her angry temper by seeking a symbolic victory.
A self endorsed person is a secure person.
Excuse, rather than accuse, the other driver for the sake of her own mental health.